Definitions

Consent:

  • An agreement between participants to engage in a specific activity.

  • Confirmation that everyone involved in an activity is able to give their OK, understands what’s going on, and consciously and willingly chooses to engage in that activity.

Consent Violation:

  • When someone crosses another person's boundaries.

  • When an action was not agreed to in advance or occurred after consent was withdrawn.

  • Violations may occur accidentally or intentionally, with or without malice.

Consent Policy

It is your responsibility to ask for consent. It is also your responsibility to decide whether or not to give consent when someone asks you to do something. If you are unsure, it's best to err on the side of caution and say "no"—firmly and clearly. You can always change your mind later.

At our events, we require everyone to obey the following rules:

1.    Don't touch without permission.

2.    Negotiate the scope of your activities.

  • You should have a conversation about what you're going to do before you begin to play. Whether you are playing with one person or a group, find out what everyone's boundaries are and make sure you understand their limits.

  • State your own boundaries clearly, and if necessary, negotiate a "safe word".

  • Relying on non-verbal communication can lead to misunderstandings.

    • Consider phrases such as: I’d like to do _________, would you like that?

3.    Make sure, to the best of your ability, that your partners can give valid consent.

  • Don't proceed if you have doubts about someone’s ability to give consent. For example, if your partner hesitates, acts unsure, or appears to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol, you should stop and wait until they are in a more stable frame of mind.

4.   Consent can be withdrawn at any time.​

  • Remember, you can ask your partner to stop at any time, or ask them to do something else instead. Just because you agreed to do something earlier doesn't mean you have to do it now.

  • During play, check in regularly to make sure your partner is content with what's happening. If they change their mind or want to stop, respond gracefully and comply right away.

Education & Safety

HACIENDA takes several proactive measures to educate attendees about our consent policy.

The rules are clearly stated in event invitations and attendees are required to accept them before purchasing a ticket.

Guests are reminded of the event rules and consent policy at the door.

First time guests of play parties must attend a mandatory orientation session.  

Easily identifiable Guardians are present and available throughout the party. 

Making a Report

If you experience a consent violation at a HACIENDA event and would like to report it:

1.  

Tell a guardian at the event or complete this form >

We ask you make your report within one week of the incident so timely action can be taken. 

2.

A member of the Hacienda Consent team will contact all parties to obtain accounts of the incident.

  • We can only investigate reports made directly by the person who experienced the consent violation, as second hand accounts tend to be less reliable. 

  • In order for Hacienda to facilitate clear communication between parties and reach a conclusion, we cannot guarantee anonymity. 

3.

Outcomes

  • Verbal warning

    • This is the most common outcome. We will speak to both parties, listen to their point of view, and encourage empathy. We may offer educational and self improvement resources. 

 

  • Temporary Ban

    • For consent violators or more serious complaints, the offending person will be required to sit out the next event. 

  • Permanent Ban

    • For violent or serious offenses, or for repeat offenders, we may institute a permanent ban. 

Disclaimer: Hacienda will make every reasonable effort to enforce this policy, but Hacienda cannot guarantee its ability to do so. Each situation is distinct and will be reviewed on a case by case basis. All participants and attendees shall retain full, sole responsibility for their safety and the safety of others with whom they interact.